Light Bulb

Argile:  a cynical quote: It’s easy to get lots of people to hate you – just be really good at something you love

 

 Sent at 8:23 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  that is rather cynical

but as with most things cynical, also fairly true

 

 Sent at 8:27 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  a somewhat cynical quote I’m fond of: it’s easier to get what you want with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone

 

 Sent at 8:29 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  haha nice. :
Nobody Cares
Population: 6 Billion

 Sven:  very clever

 Argile:  those are courtesy of the gapingvoid, the strange business-card cartoonist who wrote that book I mentioned yesterday

 Sven:  well, much obliged to gapingvoid

 

 Sent at 8:33 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  I think I may not have to worry so much about watching videos at work

apparently someone sent my coworker a youtube clip of some show in sweden that involved a bunch of naked dudes dancing to “kung fu fighting” with conveniently-placed cymbals

 Argile:  how did you find this out?

 Sven:  I was walking past her office from the bathroom when she was watching it

and the sound was playing through her computer speakers

 

 Sent at 8:53 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  lol

quality

 Sven:  we both got a chuckle out of it

 

 Sent at 8:57 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  lol – be careful who you search for: http://blogs.zdnet.com/BTL/?p=23177

 Sven:  yeah, I saw that this morning

jessica biel, of all people

not who I would have guessd

 Argile:  Check out what is says next to “Ashley Tisdale” – a popular search term when it comes to screensavers. A host of screensaver websites contained malware-laden downloads

gee, wonder what those screensavers looked like?

 Sven:  it’s a puzzlement

 Sent at 9:14 AM on Tuesday

 Argile:  Yes, much like rubik and his dastardly cube…

 Sven:  my thoughts exactly

 Sent at 9:20 AM on Tuesday

 Argile:  yes, much like shortz and his nefarious crosswords

 Sven:  …yeah…those too

 Argile:  or pajitnov and his sinister falling four-block shapes

 Sven:  let’s see how long he can keep this up

 Argile:  or edward nigma and his cunning riddles

 Sven:  and we’ve veered into the fictitious

 Argile:  or mr. copperfield and his magical mysteries

 Sven:  good recovery

 Argile:  or the popes with their priestly puzzles

 Sven:  I think you’re done, sir

 

 Sent at 9:26 AM on Tuesday

 

Argile:  but what about Dante and his devilish designs?

 Sven:  I think you’ve swapped mysterious things for clever alliteration

 Argile:  or Aristotle and his algebraic abstracts?

or Napoleon and his ninety-nine nude nymphs?!

 Sven:  um, what about them?

 

 Sent at 9:30 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  they were pretty awesome. all I’m sayin’

 Sven:  well, that’s indisputable

 

 Sent at 9:32 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  grr, when pandora kicks me off, I’m so creating more free accounts

 Sven:  way to stick it to the man

 Argile:  did I tell you about spotify yet?

 Sven:  nope

 Argile:  combine pandora and itunes and free and you have it

you can make your own playlists from an itunes-esque interface

 Sven:  neat

 Argile:  there’re more ads, but you can actually choose your music

score. adventureland is coming out. did you see it?

 Sven:  I did not

I wanted to, though

 

Sent at 9:37 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  it’s a lot darker than you might think, I really liked it though

rent it and watch it with lena

 Sven:  I’ll get right on that

although the lena thing might bit a bit tricky to navigate

she got a call right when her group was leaving, so I couldn’t get a phone number

 

 Sent at 9:41 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  lol

 Sven:  my usual luck, basically

 Argile:  did she friend you on fb?

 Sven:  no

she probably didn’t get my last name

seeing as I didn’t get hers

 

 Sent at 9:45 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  well, sven, seems like you kinda screwed the pooch on this one

 Sven:  so at this point my choices are: friend her and risk looking creepy, or rely on randomly running into her at the Library/rely on Bob

who said afterward those girls would “probably invite us over at some point,” but I’m not holding my breath on that one

 Argile:  lol

you just reek of confidence right now

 Sven:  yeah, it clings to me

it’s not so much confidence I’m lacking (in this particular case) as it is just optimism

 Argile:  one might say the two are closely related

 Sven:  one might

the difference, however, is that in this particular case it’s not myself that I don’t believe in

it’s the other factors beyond my control that I don’t believe are going to line up for me

 

 Sent at 9:52 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  see, it’s the “beyond your control” part that frustrates me

you can always influence that

 Sven:  um…her getting a call at the exact wrong moment was within my sphere of control?

whether or not she and her friends decide to invite Bob and me over at some point is within my sphere of control?

 

 Sent at 9:55 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  haha, no, but spending more time at the library is

here’s your christmas present: http://imgur.com/iMZSd.jpg

 Sven:  well, that’s very generous of you

 

 Sent at 9:58 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  I know you’ve always loved her

 Sven:  I am a huge marilyn monroe fan

having seen nary a single movie she’s been in

 Argile:  what?! You call yourself a movie buff and yet have not seen “Some Like It Hot”?

 Sven:  I haven ot

and I probably fail at life because of that

 Argile:  pretty much, yeah

 

 Sent at 10:03 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  well, what’s one more reason

 

Sent at 10:09 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  yep. always good to know just how worthless and sucky you are

 Sven:  it’s important to remember

no one likes a conceited blowhard

 

 Sent at 10:13 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  and everybody loves a loser

 Sven:  or, at least, everyone pities a loser

pity being an ample substitute for love

 Argile:  you bet – because you love things that make you look better

 Sven:  glad you’re with me on this

 

 Sent at 10:17 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  yep, only because I take full advantage of it

 

 Sent at 10:18 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  christ, client gave me a contact number that’s been… disconnected! hurray

 Sven:  heeheeehee

 

Sent at 10:21 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  so, naturally, I found the correct number… on their web site

 Sven:  you’d think you were a bill collector for all the lengths clients go to in order to avoid you

 Argile:  yeah, I guess I’m a pretty scary guy

 Sven:  you are pretty intimidating

 Argile:  well, for a 6’8, 300 lb tattooed giant of a man, I guess so

 Sven:  uh…yeah

 Argile:  I’ve had a growth spurt over the last, uh, 3 months

 Sven:  which temporarily reversed for the weekend I visited you?

 

 Sent at 10:27 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  I just wasn’t wearing my make-up then

 Sven:  must be some make-up job

 

 Sent at 10:30 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  I guess the tattoos wouldn’t be tough

but tacking on 110 pounds and 6 inches?

impressive, sir

 

 Sent at 10:32 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  platform shoes and strategically placed medicine balls

 Sven:  I just got a mental image of you wearing platform shoes

it made me chuckle

 Argile:  yeah, well, I just had an image of you being eaten by a horde of man-eating bats

it made me chuckle

 Sven:  I’m not sure that’s called for

 Argile:  but so few things in life are

 

 Sent at 10:35 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  yay, the client liked my rewrite of their stuff

giving me more reason to be arrogant and egotistical

 Sven:  one can never have too many

 

 Sent at 11:28 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  yes. The more accolades the better.

 

 Sent at 11:30 AM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  woot. creating a sitemap with only 2 pages is so much fun

 

 Sent at 11:32 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  a chance to really stretch creatively

 Argile:  yep, I think I used less than 7 words

and that’s counting 1 and 2

 Sent at 11:34 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  there’s much to be said for brevity

 Argile:  which, considering the meaning of the word, is ironic

 Sven:  I was just thinking that

 Argile:  And I knew that, because I’m Mentok! The Mindtaker!

oooOOOOooooo

 Sven:  that just made your day, didn’t it?

 Argile:  dude, quoting harvey birdman is just about the best thing ever

and the fact that you’re just about the only person I know who would get that makes it even better

 Sven:  it is pretty special

and working harvey birdman into conversation definitely ain’t easy

 Sent at 11:38 AM on Tuesday

 Argile:  too true

not many people bring up old cartoons, which is Birdman’s main source of humor, so…

 Sven:  yep, yep

 

Sent at 11:42 AM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  btw, I’m sure you’ve seen it by now, but in case you haven’t, Avatar looks pretty friggin’ sweet

Basterds had a trailer, and it looked pretty badass

 

Sent at 12:50 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  yeah, I’ve seen the trailer, but only w/o audio

 Sven:  well, that’s no good

 

 Sent at 12:53 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  Also, I’m doomed: http://news.stanford.edu/news/2009/august24/multitask-research-study-082409.html

 

 Sent at 12:58 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  but I’m golden!

heehee, you’re a “sucker for the irrelevant”

 

 Sent at 1:00 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  I think that part depends on what the person defines as “irrelevant”

 Sven:  you’re rationalizing now

 

 Sent at 1:01 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  no, because I happen to define those photos and comics, etc as relevant to my creative development

they might not help with my immediate task, but they’re giving me ideas

 Sven:  uh huh…

 

 Sent at 1:04 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  hey, buddy, keep givin’ me lip and see what happens

 Sven:  I’m simply expressing skepticism

as a firm believer in “one thing at a time” it would be insincere of me to not identify with the findings of an article that says multi-tasking may not be all that advantageous

 

 Sent at 1:14 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  strange, then, that some of the biggest multi-taskers make plenty o’ cash

 

 Sent at 1:15 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  or you have major multitaskers like my boss, who lost $1 million last year

 

 Sent at 1:16 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  yeah, oh well. I already tweeted about my impending mental inferiority

 Sven:  hey, we’re moving through the stages of grief!

there was denial, then anger, bargaining/rationalization, and now acceptance

did you do that on purpose?

 Argile:  I wanna say yes, but no, I did not

I was probably multi-tasking too much to think of it

 Sven:  probably a fair assumption

 

 Sent at 1:29 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  technical difficulties. please stand by

booooooooEEEEEEEEEEEEP

and we’re back online

 

 Sent at 1:31 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  internet’s having issues today

I thought I was immune to the troubles affecting my boss and coworker, but I guess the evil connection was just biding its time

 Argile:  undoubtedly

we’re slowly creating a Ghost in the Shell

 Sven:  yep

we’re all screwed, I’ve accepted it

 

Sent at 1:35 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  I fully plan on becoming its ally

being the dog at the foot of the throne is preferable to being the rat hunted through the sewers

 

 Sent at 1:37 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  I plan on giving up entirely, but going out in a hail of gunfire

AI-assisted suicide, I guess

 Argile:  I’ll try to see to it that you die quickly

 Sven:  I appreciate that

 

 Sent at 1:40 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  I’m typing up a restaurant menu right now, it’s pretty delicious

 Sent at 1:44 PM on Tuesday

 Sven:  I’m typing up items for bid proposals into spreadsheets

it’s not at all delicious

although there are funny-sounding items, like filter sock/wattle

whatever that is

 Argile:  yum

JoJo Potatoes. who the hell names their menu Item “JoJo” potatoes

 Sven:  good question

 

 Sent at 1:46 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  tell me you have something incredibly thrilling to do tonight?

 

 Sent at 1:54 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  same thing I do every night: try to take over the world

 

 Sent at 1:55 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  I take it this is sufficiently exciting

 Argile:  I dunno… depends on the plan

and what’s on cable

 Sven:  didn’t think of that

I’ll have to check the listings

oh yeah, Rescue Me is on tonight

guess I’ll have to put off taking over the world

 

 Sent at 1:59 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  but I will be lifting weights tonight, so that’ll be a small step toward world domination

 

 Sent at 2:01 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  nice. always good to be strong when you attempt a hostile takeover of 6 billion people

 Sven:  that’s what I figure

plus, my plan for taking over the world is to suckerpunch people like Chuck Norris in the crotch and proceed to beat the crap out of them

and get it on tape

then broadcast those beatings worldwide

people won’t be able to help but bow down to me

 

 Sent at 2:06 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  also included on the list are the Pope, Derek Jeter, Brian Urlacher, and Kim Jong Il

other suggestions welcome

Ooh, Brad Pitt goes on that list too

or Christian Bale, one of the two

 Argile:  excellent, though if you keep reaching for the crotches of other men, people might ask questions

 Sven:  that’s only how I get in the door, beating-wise. It progresses from the crotch.

I’m trying to think of strong women to suckerpunch, but I’m drawing a blank

Angelina Jolie?

 

Sent at 2:10 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  maybe Marion Jones

 

 Sent at 2:12 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  Mia Hamm

 Sven:  hmm…kinda jarring that I can’t think of the female equivalent chuck norris

 Argile:  Charlie’s Angels?

Jessica Alba of Dark Angel?

 Sven:  yeah, jessica alba would work

 Argile:  Milla Jovovich

 Sven:  Lucy Liu is the only Charlie’s Angel that would really send the message I’m going for

yeah, jovovich would be good

if it was 15 years ago, I’d say Sarah Hamilton

 Argile:  Hillary Clinton

 Sven:  there we go

 

 Sent at 2:16 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  glad we got that figured out

 Sven:  yep

sure will be fun editing all that footage into a montage

Argile: http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/BrentSprecher/news/?a=9396

woot! Batman!

 

 Sent at 3:01 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  neat

 

 Sent at 3:03 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  I look forward to Nolan ending the debate on whether or not Harvey actually died

 

 Sent at 3:05 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  they’ve still got plenty of villains to choose from

Mr. Freeze!!

 Sven:  there’s a lot of “Johnny Depp as the Riddler” rumors buzzing

wishful thinking though that may be

 Argile:  Poison Ivy played by someone sinister

 Sven:  yeah…but this Batman series seems to be much more grounded in reality

 Argile:  I know…

 Sven:  Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, and Penguin all seem a tad outlandish for the current Batman universe

catwoman’s kinda pushing it too

Croc is right out

 Argile:  isn’t Croc spiderman?

 Sven:  you might be thinking of The Lizard

 Argile:  oh, yeah

 Sven:  I remember watching the Batman cartoons back in the day, and I’m pretty sure I remember a Croc villain

kind of a subvillain, really

 

Sent at 3:09 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  dude, there’s that clay villain

kinda like sandman, but with putty

 Sven:  oh yeah

that’s totally realistic

 

 Sent at 3:12 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  find out his name and start a petition for the next movie

 

 Sent at 3:13 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  the Mad Hatter

Depp’s already playing him for the Alice movie

 Sven:  yeah, I saw a couple pictures

looks pretty creepy

 Argile:  see? easy transfer

or, if they’re lacking in originality, they could use Bane as the sterotypical strongman villain

again

 Sven:  very true

 

 Sent at 3:17 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  but, seeing as it was a good 3 years between the last 2 movies, it’ll probably be a while before this one hits theaters

 Argile:  yeppers

 

 Sent at 3:20 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  thankfully, we’ve got the harry potter, iron man, thor, spider man, justice league (?), inevitable Star Trek sequel, Magneto, etc.

 Sven:  and captain america

followed by the eventual Avengers

there will be no shortage of comic book movies in the foreseeable future

 

 Sent at 3:22 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  this is really getting old

 

 Sent at 3:27 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  raggin’ fraggin’ internet

 Argile:  bwahahaha

I mock your bad connection

 

 Sent at 3:30 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  jerk-face

 

 Sent at 3:32 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  shuddap, you don’t have to work with people who think the internet is a series of tubes

 Sent at 3:34 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  only because they’ve never thought that hard about it

 

 Sent at 3:37 PM on Tuesday

 

 Argile:  doesn’t make my job any easier

 Sven:  must be really fun over there for your IT people

 

 Sent at 3:40 PM on Tuesday

 

 Sven:  I’m gonna be hittin’ the road now

 Argile:  haha alright